One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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