I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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