I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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