Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
