bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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