Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
