Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I smell like Dick and happiness
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
