he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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