So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
