There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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