He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
