OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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