Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
