if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
