He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
