do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dick very happy bro
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
