my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
