How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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