Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
