What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
