Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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