so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I intend to get homeless drunk
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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