just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
