i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
