Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize