But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize
