I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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