so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
