I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize