I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
