Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
