I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
