Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize