idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
