your parents love me but you hate me
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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