You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
