We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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