You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
