Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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