Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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