your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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