I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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