this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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