I'm really into asian looking animals
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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