i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You have to summon your inner elephant
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Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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