please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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