come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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