hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
