yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
