No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
