Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
