and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
