He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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