I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
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I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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