No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
