i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
