Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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