He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
