Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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